The Survivor’s Blog

Continuing with my blog on my own personal journey of survival, I find it is important to remember one main thing: it was never your fault. No matter the severity of what happened or how long it continued, be it once or, in my case, over many years, being a child at the time, does not excuse being taken advantage of for whatever reasons.

The main turning point I felt was not so much remembering the past (as this can never be changed) but rather keeping silent with the “secret” now for the shame I would feel. But why should I feel shame? It’s not my secret to keep. Of course, I am careful with whom I share my “secret” , but, as I have mentioned before, I find talking about what happened, be it with a close trusted family member or friend, counsellor, or even writing it down in a journal, is a good place to start.

I know you will have a lot of questions of which no-one has the answers and you may never find the answers, so it’s important to try and find the inner strength.

I’m not talking about forgiving or forgetting, for me that would be to condone what happened to me, and to forgive and forget it not something for which I am looking (or could do even if I wanted to).

But rather to understand that the past can never be undone, but you are in control of making yourself happy now and in the future.

Yes, the journey will be long and at times hard, but taking that first step in talking about it, makes it all the more easier to start being happy.